You don't get to choose your parents or your siblings. You get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit, as the kids say. One of the most interesting family relationships I have may be the one I have with my earthly father. He was the first man in my life. I love him very much, but he hasn't always been around. The truth is, many of my other relationships have been affected by this one. Because of this dysfunctional relationship, I had trust issues. I struggled in the early days of my marriage because I was so determined to be independent, and not have to be at any man's mercy. In fact, when Mike and I first started dating, I kept waiting.... waiting for him to hurt me. I actually expected that he would leave, like so many people do. I hated Father's Day, because I didn't have happy memories of times spent with my dad. I was super insecure and didn't feel I deserved to be loved. I was angry, defensive, and very hard on myself. Of course I knew how to hide it all. I was really good at putting on a big, plastic smile, and laughing with those around me. But inside, I was damaged. Broken. So very hurt. It was like the little girl inside still wanted her daddy to come, hug her, and validate her worth.
The beautiful thing is that God healed my heart. He helped me forgive my father--even though he didn't really change. I changed, by the grace of God. Father's Day is sweet now, because my children are blessed with a dad who loves them and is there for them. I am learning to trust God in every area of my life, and no longer feel the need to always defend myself. In life, people will hurt you. After all, we are human, and we fail. But never settle for living a life God did not intend for you to live. Allow the pain to be a catalyst for growth and positive change. And by all means, remember that God is not like man. He will never abandon those who love Him and serve Him.
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