No More Tantrums!

Can adults throw tantrums?  Oh yes!! And we do!! I think we have one idea of what a tantrum is. We think it's literally kicking and screaming, and demanding to have our way.  Well, in a child, it looks like that, but in us adults (specifically children of God), we can look, on the outside, like we are truly submitting our wills to God's, but deep down inside, we are angry, and demanding why this is happening to us.  After all, don't we give, and sacrifice, and pray, and fast?  Aren't we in church, and talking with others on the phone for hours just to encourage them?  We even say (to ourselves only), "I don't deserve this pain!" We question God's faithfulness--and even His motives!! (Forgive me, Father, for all the times I have done this). In essence, we're throwing a tantrum!

We all have to go through things, and many times our trials seem to go on forever.  If you are facing an illness, or an ongoing financial issue, or a problem in your marriage that you and your partner can't ever seem to see eye to eye on, some pain just lasts a long time.  But the truth is, whether your trial is a couple of days, a few months, or many years, there is great potential in it, to make you exactly what God wants you to be.

As a parent, I can look at one of my children, in the midst of something quite painful for them, and want really badly to help them get out of the painful thing.  But God allows me to look at the bigger picture, and He shows me that they need to actually go all the way through what they are facing.  It would be detrimental to them in the long run if I rescue them.  If I continue to rescue them, I cause them to develop at  a slower rate-or not to get the lesson at all.  What kind of parent would that make me!?  

When I picture God, my sweet, wonderful Father, looking at me during a particularly difficult trial, I picture pain in His face.  I believe His heart aches because mine aches.  I am sure He does not rejoice in my sorrow, but painfully, sternly, allows patience to have her perfect work in me.  Because He is absolutely all-knowing, He sees the end--and knows that in order for me to become like Him, there are things in me that must be killed.  My flesh cannot be the loudest voice, if I truly want to be used by God.  I've got to hear His voice over all the other voices, and in a trial, the old me gets crushed, and a fragrance that God loves comes forth.  I learn to trust Him on a deeper level, and I experience such a beautiful love, as He takes me step-by-step through the whole thing.

 "But all these things that I once thought very worthwhile—now I’ve thrown them all away so that I can put my trust and hope in Christ alone. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have put aside all else, counting it worth less than nothing, in order that I can have Christ, 9 and become one with him, no longer counting on being saved by being good enough or by obeying God’s laws, but by trusting Christ to save me; for God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith—counting on Christ alone. 10 Now I have given up everything else—I have found it to be the only way to really know Christ and to experience the mighty power that brought him back to life again, and to find out what it means to suffer and to die with him. 11 So whatever it takes, I will be one who lives in the fresh newness of life of those who are alive from the dead."    Phil. 3:7-10 (TLB)

God responds to faith-not tantrums.  Whenever you find yourself throwing a tantrum again, realize how ridiculous you look, because God in still on the Throne, and it's time we grow up and really submit to His will.  Allow Him to change you--and yes, it does happen through pain, but in the end, it is all worth it, if we come out looking like Christ! Hallelujah!

I'm Late! I'm Late!

I've been thinking about my purpose, my destiny, my ultimate goal on this earth, and if I'm anywhere close to reaching it.  I have looked admiringly at the people who seem to have their lives mapped out. They know what they're doing, and when, and even why they must do it.  These are the folks that are disciplined with their time.  Wasting precious time is something that makes them feel sick to their stomachs.  They are goal-oriented, and think things through.  They seem fearless!  Then I look at myself.  Honestly, I feel so lost sometimes-in terms of what I should be doing.  In fact, some days I get a lot done, even if it isn't the most important stuff, and other days, I feel like I've accomplished little more than just getting out of bed.

I want more than anything in this world, to make a difference for God's kingdom.  I want to leave a legacy that others can be encouraged and blessed by. When it's all said and done, I want to reach my destiny! Yes, I feel like I'm late.  Did I blow it? Am I ever going to get to "that place"? Well, I am finite, and God is infinite.  I could obsess over the "what ifs" and become frazzled, or I can pray, submit to The Father daily, and give myself completely over to His will.  I don't know what tomorrow holds, and I know I'm not perfect, but I am choosing to trust God's will for my life.  He, more than anyone else, knows that I want to be what He wants, but He also knows how ill-equipped I am to accomplish it on my own. So I'm back to inhaling deeply, and exhaling, all while trusting God with absolutely every part of my life. If I am late, God can redeem the time, so either way, I'm good!!

Beautiful Hope

"There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"        (Romans 5:3-5 The Message)

Hope is a delicate, beautiful thing.  I have a particular situation in my life that I've ached over for a long time.  I think I've been through all phases with it.  I was hopeful at some point, but then, over time, I experienced sadness, frustration, anger, agony, and finally, numbness.  I actually pretty much lost hope things would change for the better.  I've fought to keep my hope in God, all while I prayed for change.  And I've found it challenging to keep hoping when situations are unresolved for long periods of time.  The thing is, God is faithful even when man is not.  

Again, I think about the woman in the Bible with the issue of blood.  She had suffered for 12 long years.  That's over 4,300 days! Talk about longsuffering! The Bible does not say this woman was smiling every day, or even that she was hopeful every day.  I'd bet she had times when she wanted to give up--to die.  Let me tell you, there are some things you can face that will make you want to just give up completely.  I know I've felt pain that made me feel like I was going just fall completely apart-or even have some sort of break down!  But, like the woman with this health issue that lasted so long, I keep coming back to hope! It's been really hard--and the truth is, I haven't hoped much in this situation for awhile, but I kept fighting to keep my hope and faith in God.

Well, this evening I noticed something.  I had hope!!! Hope about the situation that has not changed in many years.  Hope that made me smile.  I know it could only have been God who restored my hope.  Is the situation different? Not yet-as far as I can see, but I believe that as the scripture says above, In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. When we hope in God, we are never left feeling shortchanged.  If you find yourself feeling shortchanged, check where you left your hope.  

Running on Empty

Okay.  I'm about to be really transparent.  If you're not ready, please excuse yourself.  I won't be upset.  I think it's important to be honest.  You never know when it will help someone, and it's actually therapeutic to let go of the baggage.  Writing is very soothing for me, and it helps me to sort things out in my head.  So... here goes.

Yesterday was a rough one for me.  I try so hard to be strong, and do what I am supposed to.  I take my responsibilities seriously, and try to be where I am supposed to be-on time.  No, I don't always hit the mark in that area, but I do try.  Tending to the necessary, the important, and the crucial.  But sometimes, right in the middle of the stuff I'm doing, I break down.  I can be fine one moment and then just bust out crying.  I know it may make people feel a little weird, and those around me may not understand, but there are things (important things) in my life that seem to be falling apart.  As I said before, when you go through a trial that lasts maybe 6 months, it's hard, but when the pain lasts more than 7 years, it will try absolutely every "nerve" you have!  I am learning, through my own trial, not to judge people, or how I see them behave, because they can be dealing with things that I can only imagine having to deal with.

I prayed to the Lord during praise team rehearsal, last night, "Lord, I hope there is some oil that comes out of me, because I feel like I'm being crushed".  Life is precarious, and Jesus told us we would have tribulation, but the truth is, I feel sometimes like, "when is this going to be over"? The real is, I fight not to become cynical--to keep believing good will come.  Don't get me wrong.  I have some beauty in my life.  It's just that the pain has been pretty much constant for almost a decade.  I really feel, many days, like I'm running on empty.  Like I'm just done.  Enough is enough.

The only reason I survive each day is because of Christ.  I regularly (sometimes more than once a day), choose to forgive those who cause me hurt.  Even now, I know it is only my connection to The Father that keeps my aching heart from just failing (emotionally), altogether.  I fight to keep my thoughts in line with God's.  I have to decide each day to praise Him.  And as I reach out for Him, He reaches out for me.  He comforts me, and loves on me, giving me the "staying power" I need, and reminds me that I am His own.  I don't have control over other people, and I can't control many situations, but I can make the choice to praise God with all my heart.  I truly believe that He honors the sacrifice, because it is a sacrifice when every part of you says "Just stay in bed and sleep, so you don't have to deal".  I am so grateful I can release the stress through my tears in prayer, praise and worship.  I do not exaggerate when I say that worship and praise keeps me alive.  My advice to you: Weep if you must, but pour out your heart and tears to God. Never stop praising Him, because when you do, He strengthens you. Some of the clearest messages I've received from God came during praise and worship.  It's as if the garbage that pollutes the (spiritual) air on a regular basis is cleared when true worship is going on, and I can hear The Lord clearer.  It's so wonderful! I know that man may be unfaithful.  I can't count how many times I have been unfaithful to God, but He is NEVER unfaithful!  He knows and cares for us, and the most awesome thing is that He will never leave or forsake His own! Hallelujah!

Mark 9:24Living Bible (TLB)

24 The father instantly replied, “I do have faith; oh, help me to have more!”

Make it Stop!!

Did you ever feel like you just wanted all the noise to stop?  The world is so loud so much of the time.  Music playing.  Television blaring.  Traffic.  Internet ads.  Kids fighting.  Dogs barking.  But the truth is, at least for me, even when it's fairly quiet around me, my flesh is loud.  My thoughts are aggressively pushing me to make decisions, or speak my mind, or to be offended with someone.  I find that one of the loudest voices I hear is my own.  My thoughts are just ridiculous in vying for my attention.

Sometimes there is so much to do that I don't want to do anything.  Groceries are needed.  Dry cleaning has to be picked up.  Kids have extracurricular activities and meetings I have to pick them up from or attend.  Someone needs gym shorts.  Someone needs math homework help.  I have a conference call in 2 hours.  The chicken is not thawed out for dinner.   The light bill, phone bill, and gas bill are all due within the next couple of days.  I'm exhausted and I need a date night with the hubster.  Ughhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Enough already! I am choosing to shut down every voice except the voice of The Father.  It's only His voice that brings correction, direction, conviction, and compassion.  The other voices are schizophrenic! They're all over the place.  They are confusing and annoying because they are all so pushy.  I choose today to rest in God.  I know there is a lot to get done.  I know my family needs things.  But I also know that if I allow myself to be bullied by the great big "To-Do" list, I will be ready to throw a chair through a window-or worse!

Take deep breaths.  Inhale. Exhale. Write down maybe 2 or 3 things you want to get accomplished each day, and for goodness' sake, pace yourself.  You are not superhuman.  But if you are a child of God, you have Someone who will carry your heavy load.  As a matter of fact, He tells us:

Matthew 11:28Living Bible (TLB)

28 Come to me and I will give you rest—all of you who work so hard beneath a heavy yoke. Wear my yoke—for it fits perfectly—and let me teach you; for I am gentle and humble, and you shall find rest for your souls; for I give you only light burdens.”

Remember that if God is for you, He is more than the whole world against you.  And do what you must to quiet the outside voices, because they can lead you down a dangerous path.  God's got you--always! Relax.