The Right Kind of Dependence

This post is specifically for believers-and those who are coming into a relationship with Christ. There comes a time when you have to make the hard choice. Many around you who claim to be Christians are only part-time followers of Christ.  You see, being a true follower-a disciple of Jesus Christ means total surrender.  And total surrender is NOT an easy thing.

From the time we are babies, although most parents love nurturing a bundle of joy, we are consistently encouraged to become independent.  Use the potty.  Eat with a spoon.  Drink from a cup. Sleep in your own bed.  Walk. Verbalize what you want. Go off to preschool. Then kindergarten.  Middle school.  High school.  College.  And so on.  All that learning to find our self-confidence, and master life skills, and that's all good stuff.  But then there's faith.  Trust. Surrender. For some of us, these concepts are challenging.  I was raised by a single mom who adamantly taught us to be independent, to not ever be a burden to others, and that if you wanted something done right, you did it yourself. I had to be pretty grown-up at an early age. I was doing some of the food shopping and cooking dinner for the family when I was 12.  My mom worked 2 full-time jobs sometimes, and I was left to be the mature one in the house.  I love and appreciate all my mother did, and I don't fault her for any of that.  My dad was out of place, so our roles had to shift.  However, when I gave my life to The Lord at 14, and for many, many years afterwards, even until recently, I struggled with my faith.  Trust wasn't something that came easy to me, and I had learned to depend mostly on the one person I thought I could trust: me.  But I found out that I cannot really be trusted with myself--not totally.

So, eventually it got a little easier to trust God--not that He EVER gave me a reason not to trust Him. But life can throw you some serious curveballs, and sometimes I just wanted the craziness to stop. Through all the trials, I found there were less and less comforts to depend on--and less people to lean on. As a matter of fact, each and every crutch I found-friends, food, hubby--everything--has been taken away.  There have been recent times when I literally felt like I was losing it.

The thing is, God wants us to only put our full trust and hope in Him.  One thing about losing lots of things in your life is that you will learn to give your total heart to The Father, or you will keep looking for a crutch to help you cope. I'm excited and grateful because God is showing me that He is answering my prayers.  Through my pain, loss, and hardship, I have come face-to-face with the real me, and I am choosing to allow Him to to take every crutch, and heal the areas in my heart that were still damaged, and my faith is flourishing! I have given Him my heart again-completely this time, and I find rest in my Savior.